Challenges

It’s an unusually cold day and Alice Duncan checks in with the women attending her online Adoration Talk and Meditation class. Although the class is offered online and in person, in the time of the COVID-19 pandemic, virtual is preferred.
“How are you doing today?” she asks each of the four women. The common theme is a sense of anxiety. They talk about sudden change in weather, busy lives and all-around uncertainty.
Ali, as she calls herself, invites the women to close their eyes and breathe. She asks them to identify anxiety in the body, place a hand to that spot and notice the energy. She then directs everyone to lightly tap the spot. After many deep breaths and a few minutes of tapping all relax and return focus to the breath.
Acknowledging past trauma
Ali, 47, has calmed much of her own anxiety and doubt. She has overcome getting pregnant at 16 and being sexually assaulted at 19, which led her to drop out of college.
She remembers being called ‘shy little Ali.’ She was the youngest of three girls who were usually the only people of color in any social setting. Growing up, Ali remembers regularly being called the N-word and intimidated by a group of white boys who dressed like the Klan for Halloween. She was very afraid of “those boys,” and she says those feelings are rekindled when she scrolls through social media and sees former classmates’ comments against the Black Lives Matter movement.
Although Ali suffered from the racism in her hometown of Fort Collins, Colorado, she didn’t let it hold her back. Eventually she became the first black female police officer in Fort Collins. But her struggles weren’t over.
Racism can cause traumatic stress
Ali began to recognize her anxiety when she joined the police force in 2003. She says she felt like she was a token black woman on the force, a feeling that caused her to often feel stressed at work. People didn’t know how to react to her and she felt the other women were subtly aggressive toward her. She also noticed that her coworkers acted more guardedly toward black civilians.
Then she discovered the self-healing methods of yoga, meditation and Reiki. These therapies emphasize self-realization of power and eschew past suffering. She found so much value in these mindful practices that in 2011 she requested four months off from the police department to study in India.
Six months after returning to her job, Ali resigned. She expanded her study and practice of alternative healing and now feels empowered. “I’m way more confident, focused, and I know my purpose because of the routine I chose,” she says.
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