Joe Shmmoe
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Updated July 22, 2022
When you do feel compelled to give advice, emphasize that you will support your friend, no matter what he or she decides. Then, be ready to listen some more the next time your friend needs help.
Helping friends solve problems can be tricky. Here’s some friendly advice: Sometimes the best advice to give a friend is not really advice at all.
That’s because even well-intentioned advice can backfire — making your friend feel like you are questioning her ability to solve her own problems or the choices she already has made. The classic example: Your friend complains about the man she is dating, and you dive in to criticize him and urge a breakup. She not only takes offense — she ends up marrying him and dumping you.
The truth is that people often reject direct advice, even when they seem to ask for it.
That does not mean you should turn your back on a friend in need. Instead, you can use some simple techniques, says Meg Selig, a national certified counselor and author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success.
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